Attention class: Please take notes.
President Obama says we have a moral duty to go to war with Syria and possibly set the Mideast aflame, because the Syrian government killed several hundred people with nerve gas -- after killing about 100,000 people with bullets, which do not create a moral duty. It is urgent, he said -- so urgent that he waited two years after demanding the head of Syria leave office before taking action on a red line he painted but denied painting, and then he went to Congress after saying he did not need to go to Congress to get permission, but it was so urgent that he waited two months before going. But then John Kerry, who has had cozy dinners with Mr. and Mrs. Assad, made an offhand crack about Syria giving up their WMD to avoid a military strike, which he said they would never do, and the White House said he was just kidding but then Putin said Russia liked the idea and Obama said, "That's my plan!" and Syria, which had said it did not have any WMD said it would give its WMD to the Russians, who can be trusted, Obama says, to verify that they have it and it is being kept safe because, after all, they stole the atom bomb secrets from the United States. Apparently, Assad was terrified at the prospect of what Obama assured everyone would be a harmless strike that would "degrade" Syria's ability to use WMD, which Syria said they did not have and did not get from Saddam Hussein, who never had any, according to liberals, even though one of Saddam's generals said Saddam sent his WMD to Syria. Now it looks like everything is going to be hunky-dory and the only thing remaining is for Dennis Rodman to get North Korea to surrender. Or, we can surrender to them. Whatever.
There will be a pop quiz next week.